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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136147">Across Time and Space</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper'>Theyna_Shipper</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who &amp; Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Ben Solo is alive, Ben Solo is my son, Ben Solo is not dead, Ben Solo's Good Boy Sweater, Crossover, Cutness, Everyone except Rey is chaotic bisexual so don't expect them to use chairs, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Get ready for some FEELS yall, Idk where this idea came from but it sure as heck did, JJ Abrams you coward, Jack Harkness is my son, Let Rey mourn Ben's death, Other, Post-Canon Fix-It, Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey and the Doctor are BroTP, They both need girl time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 06:34:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyna_Shipper/pseuds/Theyna_Shipper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mourning her soulmate's death on Tatooine, a strange woman with a strange ship offers Rey a chance to retrieve him from the World Between Worlds. This woman is grieving her own lost and misguided love, and Rey sees a chance to use her own suffering to help her. </p><p>Jack Harkness is here for no reason other than moral support and because he and Ben are my beautiful bisexual disaster space sons.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First Doctor/Master fic, please go easy on me! I love both these ships so much so what I lack in talent I make up for in dedication (I hope). After reading some really good SW/DW crossovers, I wanted to try my hand. Any and all feedback appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey has a routine now, more or less the same thing every day- in the morning she deals with what she needs to, whether that’s maintenance on the house, or the moisture collectors, or going to the tiny market to replenish her supplies. In the afternoon, she meditates, and continues studying the Jedi texts. If the weather isn’t too harsh, sometimes she goes for a walk around the scenery-less desert. In the evening, she changes out of her working clothes, into a loose fitting pair of pants, and Ben’s old shirt- the one with the hole in it, the only thing he left behind for her. It barely smells like him anymore, but she’s memorized the smell and can imagine it is still there, if nothing else. </p><p>Any interruption to this routine is rare, with no neighbors for miles and BB-8 content to listen to her talk aimlessly without contributing too much to the conversation. </p><p>She hopes she’s not going insane in her isolation. Like she’d be any better off surrounded by people, who would ask her <i>“If you’re doing okay,”</i> in that special voice, who wouldn’t understand the half of what she was going through and would judge her if they did. </p><p>Some days were alright. The pain was numbed by the sense of routine, and she was able to tire herself out enough to fall asleep early and quickly, then wake up with the twin suns to start the cycle over again. </p><p>Sometimes days weren’t as good. Something would happen to remind her in all the wrong ways- not a comfortable, warm sort of memory, but a cold slap in the face telling her everything she couldn’t have, would never have. Like that woman in the desert, demanding to know where Rey came from, who she was. </p><p>
  <i>“Rey who?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Who indeed. Not Palpatine, she rejected that legacy on Exogol. Once, she might have accepted the Skywalker, but theirs was dead and buried in the sands. All sacrificed for what has turned out to be nothing. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>And the one she might have taken- might one day have dreamed of sharing with her soulmate- is dead as well. After everything they gave up and tried and sacrificed, he is dead. The one who promised her she was not alone has left her alone. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Just Rey.”</i>
</p><p>She buries her face into the soft fabric of the sweater and tries to conjure an image of his face- please, Force, please don’t let this fade from her memory. His smile, his soulful eyes, his soft and messy hair- please, let her keep every detail fresh until her dying day.</p><p>BB-8 bumps consolingly against her legs, a sweet attempt at comfort from the droid. Rey reaches down to rub her head, and sits down on a small couch. Her eyes drift lazily over the pages of a book, barely reading any of it, taking in the same sentence over and over again. She is about to put the book down in frustration when she hears a noise from the other side of the house, like an engine firing up. Grabbing her saber, she cautiously approaches the source of the noise. </p><p>She hears hushed voices arguing, a man and a woman. What are they doing here? And how did they get here?</p><p>She steps in and sees a young woman standing outside a large blue box, arguing with someone inside. The box is far too large to fit through the door- could it possibly have teleported? But that’s not her major concern. </p><p>“Hey.” </p><p>The woman looks up, and a man steps out of the box. </p><p>“What are you doing in my house?”</p><p>The man cocks an eyebrow. “<i>Your</i> house?”</p><p>“Shut up,” she hisses, and ignites her golden saber. </p><p>“Ooh! We match!” the woman chirps in an accent Rey has never heard before, pulling out a short golden object, like a miniature flashlight. “Umm- can you put the weapon down? I don’t like weapons.”</p><p>Rey ignores her. “What are you here for? Who sent you?”</p><p>“Well, no one <i>sent</i> us, per se, but my girl here-” she slaps the blue box. “Tends to take me where I need to be. And if my TARDIS is right-”</p><p>“TARDIS?” Some kind of ship?</p><p>“Time And Relative Dimension In Space. TARDIS,” she says, as if this should be simple to understand. She picks up her old thread. “We’re on Tatooine, circa 35 ABY? Former Lars family moisture farm?”</p><p>“Ye-es,” Rey says cautiously. “But why here? And why <i>directly</i> into my house?”</p><p>“Her TARDIS isn’t always precise,” the man explains. </p><p>The woman glares. “She does her best.”</p><p>Rey has heard those on the base refer to the ships and machines of war as ‘she’, as a way of respecting them as more than machines, but there is something different about the way this woman says it. The less-than-faint Force signature coming off the box confirms. “Your ship- TARDIS- is alive?”</p><p>The woman nods. “Very much so. She’s smart, too. Brought us here.”</p><p>Rey returns to her main question, slowly relaxing her weapon. “Why? Who are you? Why are you here?” </p><p>“That’s… complicated. Can we sit?” She gestures to a crate. </p><p>Rey nods cautiously, and settles onto her cot. The man perches on a table. </p><p>“Right, let’s start with your first question. I’m the Doctor, just the Doctor, this is my friend Jack, and you’re Rey if we got everything right?”</p><p>She nods in confirmation. </p><p>“Right. Good. Bit awkward if it wasn’t. Now then, about the second question-” she purses her lips. “Where to begin?”</p><p>Jack pipes up. “Most people would say start with the basics. You would probably start in the middle with the confusing portions.”</p><p>The Doctor rolls her eyes. “Right, so the Force- that doesn’t really need explaining.”</p><p>Rey jerks up. “Are you Force-sensitive?” She thought she was the last trained one in the galaxy. </p><p>“Goodness, no. But it’s hard to toss yourself around the universe without hearing a thing or two about it.” She smiles reminiscently. “And the Force defaults to balance.”</p><p>“Light and Dark,” Rey confirms softly, thinking of the nexus of balance on Ach-To. </p><p>“But after a major disruption, the balance is upset. It begins to fluctuate this way and that.” She pauses, as if deciding how to phrase her next words. “Such as the death of a powerful Force-user.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Rey growls. “I have no idea who you are or what you think you’re doing, but you have no <i>right</i> to talk about him, to me or-”</p><p>“Rey.” Something about her voice momentarily soothes her. “I want to help you.”</p><p>“You can’t help me,” Rey says dully. “He’s dead. I-I failed.”</p><p>“You didn’t fail, Rey. And he’s not- might not be- dead. Not if you come with us.”</p><p>Rey jerks up, suspiciously. “I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“But you do. You’ve felt it, haven’t you? His presence, in the Force.”</p><p>She shook her head. “No… he can’t. I <i>saw</i> him.”</p><p>“There’s a place, outside of time, within the Force.”</p><p>“The World Between Worlds,” Rey recalls from an obscure Jedi text. </p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“And lucky for you, we’ve got a ship that can travel through time, space, and a few other things,” Jack adds. </p><p>“So, Rey, do you trust us enough to try this?”</p><p>No. She doesn’t. She doesn’t trust these two strangers who offer her vague powers. But at the same time, she would sell her soul to anyone who offered her a chance to see Ben again.</p><p>“We can’t promise you anything,” the Doctor says finally. “But we can offer you one thing.”</p><p>“Anything,” Rey whispers. </p><p>“We can give you hope.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Make sure you're reading this in Jodie's killer accent because that will increase your enjoyment by 100000%</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor never gets tired of this- watching people study the TARDIS in awe, the disbelieving exclamations of “It’s bigger on the inside!”, or Clara Oswald’s “It’s smaller on the outside!”. But Rey’s awe is a silent one, brushing her hands along the control, whispering to the complex soul contained within, gazing at the cavernous chambers of the TARDIS. </p>
<p>“So she is… your ship?”</p>
<p>“She’s much more than a ship. Travels through time, space…”</p>
<p>“You said time,” Rey recalls, “So-”</p>
<p>“Ah. Don’t even go there. We can’t change fixed points in time. No interfering.” She saw enough grieving people come into the TARDIS and ask the wrong questions</p>
<p>“A rule which you constantly flout,” Jack mutters. </p>
<p>“Not without good reason!” She hisses back. </p>
<p>She stops examining the ship, and turns back to the Doctor. “What do I need to do?”</p>
<p>“We aren’t… entirely certain yet. You’re the Force expert here. But you have all the time you need to study it, and the TARDIS libraries- they contain hundreds of books lost to time. Just avoid spoilers.”</p>
<p>Rey looks to the corridors branching off the main control room. “You have libraries?”</p>
<p>“Mm-hm. At least two. Still haven’t gotten around to exploring the whole thing. And she likes to change things up.”</p>
<p>“It’s as confusing as it sounds,” Jack confirms. “Even once you’ve been with the Tardis for a while. Just- accept it until it all sort of clicks.”</p>
<p>“I’m still not sure why I trust any of this.” She shakes her head. “Why do you want to help me? You don’t even know me.”</p>
<p>“We told you- there’s an immense imbalance in the Force. The fate of the entire universe hinges on getting your husb-” The Doctor realizes her mistake, but not before everyone else does too. “Your friend back.”</p>
<p>Rey’s hand flies to the back of her head for a moment, then falls. “Oh.”</p>
<p>“Do you need a minute? It’s a lot to adjust to.” The Doctor has seen enough baffled people come in and out of the TARDIS a few times, struggle to wrap their heads around it all. That Rey has remained so composed is something a little astounding. </p>
<p>“Yeah, thanks, I, I-” she leaves the TARDIS, rubbing her temples. </p>
<p>The Doctor perches herself on the railing next to the console, swinging her legs nervously. Jack looks out at the door where Rey just left. “What happened when you said that about- her husband? And she touched her hair?”</p>
<p>“Alderaanian braids,” she explains. “It’s like a language of its own.” She’s always been enchanted with it, the complexity and the artistry. “The different braids have different meanings. Almost a forgotten language, Alderaan was destroyed decades ago.”</p>
<p>“So hers?”</p>
<p>“I’m a little rusty on the language. But it was one of the more basic styles- for a widow in mourning.”</p>
<p>“So were they…?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “A dyad pair. Almost totally unique; that was probably the closest way to express what she was going through. She probably didn’t even expect anyone to notice, or understand, especially on a place like Tatooine. It was just a private way for her to mourn.”</p>
<p>The Doctor stares at the floor, thinking of the solace it must be to <i>mourn</i>- to have that kind of closure, however depressing. She has rarely had the luxury of such a thing- to be fully confident how a story had ended, or even worse, to know that someone was still out there but completely out of reach. Like Rose, or Donna… those were some of the saddest good-byes. Then there were the ones that she had no guarantee of seeing again, but no guarantee of <i>not</i> seeing again. Like…</p>
<p>“Doctor?” Jack says, jerking her from her reverie. “You like taking care of people, and that’s great, but- make sure you’re taking care of yourself too.”</p>
<p>She smiles softly. “Thanks, Jack.” That’s why she asked him to come with her. After Yaz and Ryan and Graham wanted to go back to their old lives, she hadn’t wanted to be alone again. Things never went quite as well for anyone when she was alone. Jack understands the loneliness of immortality- of knowing that even after you’ve had all the time you could possibly want, you will never find peace entirely. Of course, Jack doesn’t know that he <i>will</i> one day find that peace, and that’s not hers to tell him. </p>
<p>After a few minutes of companionable silence, Rey returns to the TARDIS, with a small bag and her saber-staff, and her massively oversized sleeves rolled up to her elbows. An orange-and-white droid rolls along beside her, beeping with confused excitement as he enters. He rolls up to the Doctor and bumps into her leg, making demanding beeps at her that don’t quite translate. She reaches down to pat his head, and coos to him in droidish nonsense. </p>
<p>“I’m coming with you,” Rey announces. “Something tells me you’re exactly who I need right now.”</p>
<p>The Doctor grins. She had doubted for a moment that Rey would be eager to join, but those doubts were happily unfounded. </p>
<p>“Can BB-8 come? I don’t want him to be lonely, and he’s my only communication link with Finn and Poe and Rose.”</p>
<p>“Of course! The more the merrier!” Her somber attitude of earlier is gone, excited at the prospect of another world-shaking adventure, the likes of which she’s been missing lately. “There anyone you want to tell? That you’ll be going?”</p>
<p>Rey pauses for a moment, considering the idea, then shakes her head. “No. They won’t worry.”</p>
<p>The people who travel with the Doctor are rarely the ones who have a lot to say good-bye too- at least not the ones who stay along time. Why would the people who have plenty waiting for them follow this nutter into the dark? So she’s used to fast departures. </p>
<p>Rey approaches the TARDIS consoles, looking but not touching, part admiring and part befuddled at the complexity. Suddenly, the ship begins to beep and whir, and Rey jumps back. “What’s she doing?”</p>
<p>The Doctor reaches out for one of the screens. “Just doing a scan. New person, strong Force, curiosity...”</p>
<p>Rey frowns. “What kind of scan?”</p>
<p>“Medical, the like. Nothing-” The Doctor pauses, frowning at what she finds on the screen. That shouldn’t be. Unless…?</p>
<p>“Nothing what?”</p>
<p>The Doctor clears her throat. Rey doesn’t need to know right now. “Nothing out of order. Welcome aboard, Rey!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>At this point I should probably confess that I have only seen most of seasons 1-6, and all of season 12, so I apologize if I contradict anything that happens in between. Also the timeless child arc was absolute garbage which I will be mad about later in this fic.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here I am with another chapter. Thanks so much for the kind comments &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor is an inscrutable person. Her face is young, her eyes are old. She has the excitement of a child and the sadness of an old woman. Perhaps it’s the time travel. Who knows what she has seen, or experienced, in a thousand different times?</p>
<p>“Was your home destroyed?”</p>
<p>The Doctor pops her head out from underneath the floor. “What?”</p>
<p>“In the war. Did you lose your- your home, your planet?” There’s a sadness that hangs about her, much like General Organa, who lost Alderaan, or Zorii Bliss, with Kijimi. “You have this feeling- like- like you know you can never go home again.”</p>
<p>The Doctor pulls herself up next to Rey, her legs dangling down into the gap. “I- not this war. A different one, a long time ago. Far away. But yes, I lost my home.”</p>
<p>“Were you a soldier?”</p>
<p>She bites her lip, as if considering the question. “No. I’m no soldier. I’m a Doctor!”</p>
<p>Rey smiles a little. “Of course.” That didn’t mean the Doctor has never fought. Rey saw medics being handed guns at the Resistance bases, and heard their objections. </p>
<p>“I came here to heal,” one woman had insisted. “Not to kill!” But in the end, war made killers of them all. </p>
<p>“I’m not a soldier either,” Rey admits. Her sabers, her blasters, her staff, her ships’ guns, and even her bare hands- all have tasted blood- but she is not a soldier. </p>
<p>“Who are you, then?”</p>
<p>Rey traces the cracks on the floor with her finger, after all this time still unable to find an answer for this question. “I’m nobody.”</p>
<p>“That’s funny,” the Doctor says, “Because in all the hundreds of thousands of places in space and time I’ve visited, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important. Everybody’s somebody.”</p>
<p>A small smile creeps across her face at this idea. That everyone, every faceless soldier who was reduced to a tally mark and an empty grave, every starving scavenger who died alone in the desert, all of them had been important in their own tiny way. </p>
<p>“So who are you?” The Doctor repeats. </p>
<p>“I- I guess I don’t know,” she confesses. “First I was a scavenger. Then I was the Resistance girl with the lightsaber. Everyone thought I would be a Jedi now-” she shrugs. “Now I’m here.”</p>
<p>“<i>Here</i> is an excellent place to be. I’m just here! And I’ve met lots of amazing people here, too. So- just be here until you do know.” The Doctor smiles and disappears beneath the console again. “Pass me the wrench?”</p>
<p>Rey watches the other woman for some time, while the console still remains undisturbed, and progress seems near nonexistent. </p>
<p>She pokes her head down. “Mind if I have a look?”</p>
<p>The Doctor looks up. “You can try, but she’s awfully temperamental today. If she’s not letting me…”</p>
<p>Rey drops down. “I’ll give it a try.”</p>
<p>“She’s all yours,” the Doctor replies, hoisting herself back up. “Let me know if you need anything.”</p>
<p>Rey kneels next to the damaged wires- something or other always seemed to be breaking in the TARDIS- and examines them. She runs her hand along the walls next to them, something deep inside the magnificent ship calling to her. As soon as her fingertips make contact, a flood of memories is poured into her mind- a brilliant madman stealing the TARDIS before she could be thrown away, travelling and fighting with brave men, women, aliens, and robots, dying and coming back to life, always just as eager to help those who need him or her. She saw the people who travelled alongside this brilliant madman, too. Sarah, the reporter and defender of the Earth. Rose the girl who looked into the heart of the TARDIS. Donna, the most important woman in the universe, who forgot. Amy, the girl who waited. River, the woman who knew his future- and so many more. The face of one more floats into her vision, the only other person in the universe who understood the Doctor’s loneliness- before disappearing, and shocking Rey back into reality. </p>
<p>The Doctor clearly contains far, far more, than she reveals. Thousands of years of life and memory and friends, all contained within her friendly and soulful face. </p>
<p>“Rey? Everything alright down there?”</p>
<p><i>Right. Focus on the TARDIS. Can’t do much without it.</i> “Yeah, just- looking around.”</p>
<p>The damage is far from irreparable, and it feels almost as though the TARDIS is showing her what to do as her fingers deftly twist and snap everything back into place. Within ten minutes, everything is up and running again. </p>
<p>She pulls herself out of the small space, to see Jack and the Doctor looking at her, impressed. </p>
<p>“How’d you manage that?” Jack demands. “She’s been working on that for hours, and you’ve barely even been in a TARDIS before.”</p>
<p>Rey shrugs. “All ships run on the same basic principles, if you can just tease it out of them. Scavengers learn to work with what they have. For combat, building, repairs, transport-”</p>
<p>“So you’re saying you could kick my ass with, like- a potato?”</p>
<p>Rey laughs. “Probably. Improvisation, you know.” It’s the first time she’s laughed in a long time. Being around people, being around <i>new</i> people is certainly good for her. </p>
<p>Jack nods. “I’ll be careful,” he says with mock seriousness. </p>
<p>Rey puts away the tools and dusts off her hands. One of the long sleeves of Ben’s shirt comes unrolled and covers her hand. </p>
<p>“I have extra clothes in one of the rooms,” the Doctor offered. “In case you want something that- um- fits better.”</p>
<p>Rey looks down at her floppy sleeves. “No, I- I like this. Thank you, though.”</p>
<p>“Is it his?”</p>
<p>She purses her lips softly. “Yeah. It is. It’s comfortable, it’s warm, and reminds me of him.”</p>
<p>The Doctor nods. “I do the same thing. Of course, she was my size- so,” she shrugs, “Fits better.”</p>
<p>Rey cocks her head quizzically, wanting to know more about this woman of whom the Doctor speaks. Was it one of the ones the TARDIS had shown earlier. </p>
<p>“Sarah Jane Smith.” Yes, the spirited brown-haired journalist. “She left a lot of her things behind. I like to borrow them, keep her in my thoughts.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure she’d like that,” Rey says.</p>
<p>“I’m sure he does too,” the Doctor replies.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I saw a Tumblr post about the Doctor wearing a shirt that Sarah Jane Smith used to wear, and I thought that was cute, and then I watched Genesis of the Daleks, and she was wearing culottes like the Doctor's, so I thought this was kinda cute. Even though I've barely seen any classic Who. My fic, I get to decide what's cute.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's been a little while but I'm back at it! Enjoy some angst and softness swirled together and try not to notice that I don't know sh#t about the Force.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The TARDIS’s libraries are unbelievably extensive. It would take Rey months to find the right books in there, if she did not get the sense that the ship was guiding her, pushing the books she needs into her waiting arms. </p><p>Not that the books are much help. Even with the TARDIS’s ‘translation circuits’ helping her to comprehend the antiquated dialects, the language is all abstract and theoretical with very little real advice. </p><p>She’s read the same sentence about a dozen times before sure finally slumps forward dejectedly onto the table. How is she supposed to make any progress here when she can’t keep her eyes open for ten minutes?</p><p>The sound of footsteps makes her jolt up, to see the Doctor walking towards her with a steaming mug. </p><p>“Made you some tea,” she offers. </p><p>Tea is an unknown luxury in most of the galaxy, but apparently a bit more accessible wherever the Doctor comes from. </p><p>“You’re an angel,” Rey mutters, sipping it weakly. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” she confesses. “I’m not trained. I barely know what half of this means. I can’t-”</p><p>The Doctor puts a reassuring hand on Rey’s arm. “People can do amazing things. I’ve seen it happen so many times. Especially for the people they love.”</p><p>This woman is always so full of light and sunbeams and hopes- General Organa would have loved her. And Rey tries her best to listen to reason, to hope, to every step that will bring her closer to Ben. She fakes a smile until she can muster a real one. “I can’t give up,” she chooses to end the sentence, and reaches for the book again. </p><p><i>Another hour,</i> she tells herself. Can’t give up, can’t stop looking for Ben… This is how she usually ends up passed out in the library, someone having moved her into a more comfortable position with a blanket. She can’t remember the last time she had anyone to take care of her like this, but in all honesty it only makes her feel worse. Because these are strangers, and as nice as they are, they’re only interested in what Rey can do to ‘balance the universe’ or whatever. </p><p>It just makes her want Ben more- in the moment of that kiss, he’d promised her everything he could possibly give her, everything she could possibly want. Hope, love, a home, a family, someone to hold her and comfort her and tell her everything would be alright. </p><p>But fate was cruel, and that moment was shattered before it began, only to boomerang back into her face with another confusing and possibly fruitless quest. </p><p>The Doctor rouses her from her twisting tunnels of thoughts. “Ex-e-gol,” she reads off, carefully pronouncing the word. “Sounds familiar. Is that important?”</p><p>She jerks up and reads the page the Doctor had aimlessly flipped to. <i>Sith… excavations... transportative vergence…</i> she can’t process it all right away, but the importance is clear enough. “This is the key,” she announces. “I need to get back to Exegol.”</p><p>The Doctor looks at Rey’s drooping eyes and careless movements. “I think right now, you need to get back to bed.”</p><p>Rey sighs in agreement. She’s useless in this state. </p><p>The Doctor accompanies her to a bedroom in the TARDIS, which always seems to be changing places. She’s learned not to ask too many questions; people get defensive about their ships. Even when they’re clunky boxes that defy every law of physics in the known universe. </p><p>She collapses onto the bed, more luxurious than any cot or bunk she’d been on before. </p><p>“You need to sleep,” the Doctor tells her. “You’re working yourself too hard.”</p><p>“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out. <i>Kriff.</i> “At first I thought it was all just stress. I didn’t think it was possible because, you know…” She clears her throat. “But… I’m definitely pregnant. It must have been that… that Force-healing.” She waves her hand vaguely; her train of thought is all over the place. “That’s what the TARDIS picked up on its scans, isn’t it?”</p><p>The Doctor nods in confirmation. “Everything will be fine,” she assures her quickly. “We’ll be here… and… hopefully…”</p><p> </p><p>There’s something in the Doctor’s eyes that makes Rey wonder. “Do you have children?”</p><p>She shrugs in a way that is both uninformative and extremely telling. “Jack was pregnant once,” she offers with a smile. </p><p>“I can never tell if you’re joking,” Rey laughs nervously. </p><p>The Doctor shakes her head. “True story. Stranger things have happened in space.”</p><p>Rey is both crying and laughing now, which is better than just the first one. “I should really go to sleep,” she mutters. </p><p>The Doctor ruffles her hair. “Yes, you should.”</p><p>For the first time in a very long while, Rey goes to bed with a smile on her face and hope in her heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everyone editing Ben Solo's Wikipedia page right now is clearly very depressed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ach-To.” </p><p>The Doctor looked up. “What?” </p><p>“I think I need to go back to Ach-To.” She retraces something on her notes. “That’s where it all started.”</p><p>“Makes sense.” She knows Ach-To: a beautiful ocean planet filled with craggy islands, the Lanai, funny birds called porgs, and, of course, a powerful Force vergence. It made sense that Rey would want to go there. “When do you want to go?”</p><p>Rey taps her pencil back and forth on the table. “We don’t have time to waste.” But she’s scared, scared to take another step in case it was the wrong one or it didn’t work and she was let down again. </p><p>“Get some rest and we can go as soon as you’re ready,” she suggests. “Hardly any travel time.”</p><p>“Righ, still adjusting to that.” Rey nods. “So this is a time machine too? Does that mean-”</p><p>“Don’t even go there,” the Doctor warns. “There are fixed points in time that can’t be changed. I’ve seen hurt people who want to change them.” <i>I’ve seen myself.</i> “It doesn’t end well.”</p><p>“Oh,” Rey says. “That makes sense.” She turns back to her notes and jots a few more things down. “Who are you looking for, Doctor?”</p><p>“What?” She looks away quickly. </p><p>“You’ve got heartache written all over your face. There’s someone out there you’re looking for. Waiting for.” </p><p>The Doctor runs her fingers through her hair distractedly. “He- or she- always finds me sooner or later.”</p><p>Rey frowns. “You don’t sound too happy about that.”</p><p>“It’s complicated.” She purses her lips. “When you’re alive for a long time- you start to get bored. Life feels more stale.” Her finger draws circles on the stale. “Not everyone copes well with that.”</p><p>“Do you?”</p><p> </p><p>She shrugs. “I’m not crazy yet. Well, not <i>that</i> crazy. I travel and find new things, and those keep me sane. The galaxy is huge, so I never get bored. Doesn’t mean I don’t…”</p><p>“Get sad?” Rey finishes. </p><p>“Yeah. That.” She thinks of the many faces who have passed through the TARDIS, and how few of them remain. </p><p>“Tell me more about them,” she offers. “This… person.”</p><p>“He calls himself the Master,” she begins. “When he was young- well, it’s hard to explain. Something happened, he saw things he shouldn’t have, and it changed him. Now he’s…” She takes a deep breath. “He destroyed our planet.”</p><p>And before she knows it, she is relating the whole story, of the Master’s rages and obsessions, the carnage and chaos and destruction, the pain and loneliness and desperation, of her <i>begging</i> him to stop, to stay with her, of him <i>begging</i> her to join him, to avenge the lies they were told and take over with him. </p><p>Rey is leaning back in her chair, listening to every word. “That sounds… a little too much like myself,” she sighs. </p><p>“It’s pointless to try to understand the workings of the galaxy,” the Doctor replies with a grim smile. “I thought he- she- changed. She lived and died another life, and in it she saw reason. Good. But then she died again, and I thought… for good. Then I saw him again and he hadn’t changed.”</p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” Rey stammered. She looks to be thinking, wrapping her head around all this. “But are you sure that was- after her? Maybe your… timelines or whatnot… got mixed up. Maybe for him, it hadn’t happened yet?”</p><p>She frowns. “I hadn’t thought of that- I wouldn’t think- but maybe…” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”</p><p>Rey stands up. “Thanks for talking to me. Good night.”</p><p>“Night. Ach-To, you said?”</p><p>Rey nods. “Ach-To.”</p><p>*******</p><p>It has been a long time since Rey last stood on these rocks, watched this sea, breathed this air. It remains more or less unchanged. The porgs still nest in the craggy cliffs.The Caretakers still tend to the island and live in their thatched huts. The sea spray still splashes everyone and fills the air with salt. </p><p>But a quiet has settled over the place. It’s a sense of calm before the storm, a pause in the scales before they unbalance. This is the danger the Doctor was talking about, the change in the balance of the universe. It’s what Rey needs to rebuild with Ben. </p><p>She begins walking the paths of the island that she once chased Luke Skywalker down, or watched Kylo Ren materialize onto. Nostalgia and grief mix within her. </p><p>She finds Luke’s robes lying on a rock, where he must have become one with the Force. They are over a year old, and falling apart, but still recognizable. Rey kneels down next to them.</p><p>“May the Force be with you, Master Skywalker,” she whispers. “Always.”</p><p>Then she turns to the dark hole in the center of the island, the reason she came here. </p><p>It draws her in the same way it once did, but for a different reason. Its power is seductive, its pull nigh-irresistible. </p><p>Now she has no reason to resist it. She takes a deep breath, and drops herself in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys! I'm back at it with another chapter. Hope you enjoy. </p>
<p>I had an anxiety attack for the first time in a little while the other day, and I've really been feeling trapped inside my own head since then, so sorry if this is a little angsty. Hopefully it's enjoyable anyways.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The initial plunge into the freezing-cold underwater lake is jarring. This is only the second time Rey has been completely submerged in water, the same place. It’s not like Jakku was full of swimming holes, and baths are still an unheard-of luxury for her. Naturally, she has no idea how to swim, and her soaked garments are weighing her down dangerously. </p>
<p>But, like it did last time, the Force guides her out of the water and onto a beach as dark as charcoal, her soaked clothes leaving puddles and droplets in the dirt. Her whole body shivers with both nerves and cold as the water evaporates off her skin into the cool air</p>
<p>Rey went into the cave prepared and unafraid. But now, with the air of the cave pressing down on her, and cold water freezing her clothes, and her own face staring back in the mirrors, her heart begins to race and her breath is ragged in her throat. She doesn’t consider herself claustrophobic- years of crawling around in the bellies of abandoned ships has trained that out of her- but something about this place makes her skin crawl. </p>
<p>She focuses on the sensation of breath in her nostrils- in, out, in out- to keep her calm and grounded. Her feet splash in small puddles on the ground as she gets farther from the lake, the sounds jarring in the silence.</p>
<p>She can hear her own pulse by the time she reaches the mirror she recognizes. Her silhouetted self stares back from the foggy mirror. The scene is jarringly familiar, and she feels a disturbed sense of déjà-vu. </p>
<p>She closes her eyes and lets her fingers brush the mirror, calling to mind a strong image in the Force. “Show me Ben Solo,” she whispers.</p>
<p>Her eyes snap open as the mirror presents a new vision: Ben, her Ben, smiling at her. His face is happy and untroubled, in a way she only saw it once: the moment before he died. But he isn’t dead. He’s alive and smiling, and…</p>
<p>More of the vision slowly comes to light. There is a child in Ben’s arms. <i>Their</i> child, she realizes. Her hand flies to her own stomach, thinking of the baby she is now carrying. </p>
<p>Mirror Ben says something to their baby that Rey can’t hear. Is this their future? Will Ben come back, raise their child together? <i>Please, Force, please let this be real.</i> Please let Ben come back to see their baby. </p>
<p>But suddenly the vision is disappearing from beneath her fingertips, and being replaced by another just as she cries out. </p>
<p>If the last one was the future, then this is the past: Ben Solo as a scared child, listening to his parents talk about him when they believe him to be fast asleep. A voice whispering in his head, telling him he doesn’t need them, to run away and destroy it all. </p>
<p><i>He’s just a child,</i> Rey wants to shout. <i>Leave him alone!</i> But her breath is gone, replaced by ice and pain. </p>
<p>This vergence is a link to the dark side of the Force, and it is doing its best to draw Rey in. </p>
<p>Her next vision is of an older Ben, still young, too young for this. He is kneeling at the foot of Snoke’s throne, pain racking his entire body as he is enveloped in electricity. He is silent and still, too used to this to shout or stir. </p>
<p><i>Stop,</i> Rey begs internally. <i>Don’t show me this. Please</i> </p>
<p>The scene changes to a disturbingly similar one. This time, Ben is enveloped in pure white on a backdrop of blue. It seems beautiful and angelic on the surface, but looking closer, at his distorted features and writhing body she realizes he is in just as much pain as in the last one. And with a pang she realizes that <i>this</i> is the real one: this is where Ben is, suffering in the World Between Worlds, waiting for her. </p>
<p>“Ben,” she whispers, finding her voice again. </p>
<p>He turns his face to her, his eyes ragged and scared. His voice is guttural and quiet. It does not sound like him, but the voice of the nexus, drawing her in. <i>”Help me.”</i> </p>
<p>“BEN!” Rey shrieks, banging on the glass as the vision fades. “BEN!” She pounds against the mirrored walls until her palms bruise and then bleed. She thinks to her knees, water pooled around her. She clutches her aching hands as her whole body is wracked with sobs. “Ben,” she gasps, pressing her forehead to the glass. “Ben, please.” <i>I’m coming. Please wait for me.</i></p>
<p>************</p>
<p>She doesn’t remember how she drags herself back to the TARDIS, soaked and sobbing and shivering, to be wrapped in a blanket and thrust in front of a fireplace with a mug of tea. The first time this happened, this would be when she poured out her experiences to Ben, and when he comforted her with his soothing voice. </p>
<p>Now, though, it is when she sits in front of the fireplace, desperate for warmth, while the Doctor and Jack watch with concern from a few feet away. </p>
<p>Rey pulls the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She hadn’t felt much better last time the cave consumed her like that. <i>I’d never felt so alone in my life.</i> </p>
<p><i>But I wasn’t alone,</i> she thinks. <i>He was there. And he was hurting and it was so much worse.</i>  </p>
<p>The next part, she finds herself saying out loud, albeit quietly. “I would rather be alone and have him safe than with me and hurting.”</p>
<p>The Doctor, however, is close enough to hear. “He’d be hurting so long as he wasn’t with you.”</p>
<p>Rey nods slowly. The same is true of her: so long as she’s not with Ben, there will be an incurable pain in her heart. Having someone you belong with comes with its own share of pain as well as comfort. But if she can get through the pain, surely the comfort will be waiting for her on the other side of the mirror. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” she whispers as her eyelids drift close and she curls onto her side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Enjoy some Doctor-Master angst and get ready for next chapter's feels º_o</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It feels a little wrong to watch Rey sleep like this, but the Doctor doesn’t want her to wake up alone. As much as the TARDIS seems to like Rey, there’s still a good chance of her getting lost in the extensive hallways. </p><p>“Poor girl,” the Doctor murmurs sympathetically.  “She’s so lonely. All of time and space, there’s only one person who could possibly understand what she’s going through.”</p><p>“Y’know, you almost sound like you’re talking about yourself,” Jack replies, looking pointedly at the Doctor. </p><p>“I’m not lonely,” she snaps back, a little too quickly. “I have friends. I have you.” She ignores the fact that Jack only pops in from time to time, and that Yaz, Graham, and Ryan had, like everyone else she travelled with, eventually returned to their old lives. </p><p>“We all leave,” Jack reminds her, echoing her own thoughts. “But there’s one person who understands what you’re going through. One person who you’d spend all of time and space searching for.”</p><p>She taps her foot. “I shouldn’t have told you about him. It’s not- he’s not-” she sighs. “It’s a lot more complicated than that.”</p><p>Jack gestures to Rey. “Those two seem pretty damn complicated, but she seems to have it all figured out.”</p><p>“Yes, well, he’s not <i>literally insane</i> from looking into the time vortex, and spending an eternity in time and space.”</p><p>“You’ve spent a long time there too,” Jack points out. “You’re on more or less equal footing in that respect.” </p><p>She concedes that. “But if I were to find him, what would I even do?”</p><p>Jack smiles a little. “After giving him a good ass-kicking?”</p><p>She laughs weakly, and raises her hands. “No violence, remember?” She lowers them. “But really… What could two time-travelling crazies do besides kill each other? Even if we had the best of intentions.”</p><p>“Maybe Time Lord relationships weren’t meant to be simple,” Jack offers. “So that you could spend more time figuring them out.”</p><p>“Maybe so.” She pauses. “Why are you so interested in this?”</p><p>Jack shrugs. “I don’t care about the- the Master, or whatever he’s called. But you clearly do, and I care about you. And I know that finding peace for him is what will help you.”</p><p>“I thought I had. But now I’m not so certain. Maybe not everyone is born to find peace.” She’s feeling sorrowful and cynical today. </p><p>“Maybe not,” Jack agrees. “But everyone deserves it.”</p><p>************</p><p>“Exogol? Are you sure about this?” After this, there will be no going back. Rey has one chance to do this, so she’d better be certain. </p><p>Rey nods. “I can’t afford to wait much longer. I can’t put this off much more.” She breathes deeply. “I know what I have to do.”</p><p>“Please be careful,” the Doctor says. “Don’t take any risks if you don’t have to. “For Ben and… the baby.” </p><p>Rey nods, resting her hand against her stomach. “The baby,” she repeats. </p><p>The Doctor tries to cut the silence that has suddenly fallen on the room, with Rey’s wistful and distracted eyes. “Have you thought about names, or any of that yet?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “I thought I’d wait until…” </p><p>“Right,” the Doctor agrees. </p><p>“When the TARDIS scanned,” Rey asks, “Do you know if… boy or girl…?”</p><p>“‘Fraid not,” the Doctor replies. “But healthy. I know that much.”</p><p>Rey exhales slowly. The TARDIS adjusts everything it provides, like the nutrient wafers, for her now, so that isn’t a concern. But she’s nervous and emotional, and more than anything, tired, so the sooner they can get on and off Exogol, and she can start this chapter of her life properly, the better. </p><p>“Well,” the Doctor says, out of conversation topics to delay. “If you’re sure you’re ready…”</p><p>Rey nods. </p><p>“Hold on tight.”</p><p>She starts pulling levers on the console, and the TARDIS screeches its takeoff sounds. Exogol’s strange position (not quite in this universe) makes it harder to target the ship there, so it requires concentration and cooperation from the TARDIS, which she mercifully receives. A short flight, a second screeching of landing, and they make planetfall. </p><p>Rey looks perturbed before even leaving the box. The place has a forbidding air to it, the very atmosphere seeming to say <i>you shouldn’t be here.</i> And it was one of the Sith’s best kept secrets, but even those are uncovered sooner or later. </p><p>“We can walk you-” the Doctor volunteers. </p><p>“Yes,” Rey sputters nervously. “Thank you.” </p><p>The Doctor throws open the doors and leads Jack and Rey out. <i>Act like you belong, and surprisingly few people will question you.</i> That’s gotten her through plenty of tough situations. Unfortunately, when it’s the very aura of the planet questioning you, confidence is harder to muster. </p><p>Two rusty, broken-down ships wait outside the cavern entrance. One of these must be Rey’s. They’re both military makes, although the Doctor isn’t familiar enough with them. They seem to strike a chord with Rey, though. </p><p>They walk with her to the entrance of the Sith Cathedral, but from there she must be on her own. She wraps the girl in a tight hug, for luck and for strength. “You’ve got this,” she assures her. If the Doctor has doubt, it can go unsaid; what Rey needs now is confidence. </p><p>Rey pulls slowly out of the hug. </p><p>“May the Force be with you,” the Doctor says finally. Rey nods, choked up, and enters the cavern.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey hates it here. She didn’t like this planet the first time she arrived her dislike has only intensified. The air is forbidding, encouraging her to turn around and run from the minute she steps on the planet. </p>
<p>Instead of running, she draws strength from her goal, looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Life spent years trying to crush her down on Jakku, and she still kept her chin up, as long as she had a goal to work towards. She’s not going to give up now, not with everything she ever wanted on her horizons. </p>
<p>She feels like throwing up (and not just because she’s pregnant) as she enters the cavernous cathedral. It is filled with rubble, and heavily damaged from the battle, but still standing. The horrifying stench of dead bodies meets her before she sees them: the Knights of Ren, scattered on the floor, all dead by their former master’s hand. </p>
<p>Pulling her shirt over her mouth and nose, she keeps walking, following a tug in her get that leads her deeper and deeper into the cave, towards the mysterious vergence. It leads her into the massive cathedral, to the throne where Palpatine once sat. </p>
<p>This room gives her pause. Everywhere, the ghosts of a battle fought months ago remain. There, the burned throne where Palpatine fell under the assault of his own lightning. There, the cliff Ben fell down and then fought his way back up to Rey’s body. There, the place where they shared their first- hopefully not their last- kiss, before Ben faded away underneath her hands. </p>
<p>She kneels next to this spot and touches a lingering presence in the Force. </p>
<p>“Be with me,” she whispers. “Be with me.” </p>
<p><i>I will be with, Always,</i> he promised her once. And now, she is answered, as she reaches out into the Force for him. It’s just the faintest flicker of a presence, you could miss it if you blinked, but it’s there. It’s so definitely <i>there</i>, it makes her heart pound with anticipation, and relief. </p>
<p>She picks herself up off the floor and follows it, like a light into the dark. </p>
<p>When Rey left Jakku, she started learning the stories and fairy tales from other planets. Where there were swamps, she heard of something called a will-o-wisp: a ball of light that guided lost travellers through the swamps, only to leave them sinking in to drown. </p>
<p>Now, her spine prickles as she recalls the myth. What if she is following a false light into danger and darkness? What if it is the vergence, or the dark side, trying to draw her in off her desperation. </p>
<p>She brushes off the feeling. Ben’s light could never be used to trick her. Whenever she followed it into the darkness, he was waiting on the other end. Even when he couldn’t stay, like when she followed him onto the <i>Supremacy</i>, he was there for her as long as she stayed. </p>
<p>His darkness was forced upon him by his past and those obsessed with it. His light was completely and wholly his own, something for them to count on in the darkest of times. </p>
<p>So she follows it deeper and deeper into the darkness, until she cannot see, until the only thing guiding her is the Force, like a rope pulling her towards her goal. </p>
<p>Finally, it leads her to a mirror similar to the on one Ach-To. A shaft in the ceiling leads all the way to the surface of the planet, casting the room in a dim grey light, just enough for Rey to see the mirror. </p>
<p>Her heart and soul tell her this is the place. If Ben is anywhere, he is here. </p>
<p>So she demands this of the vergence. </p>
<p>“Give me Ben Solo.” </p>
<p>When Rey touches the mirror, she feels pain. Pain like she has never known before. She thought it hurt to lose one half of her soul. She has <i>died</i>, and it did not hurt this much. It is as if the darkness of the vergence is ripping her soul from her body, pulling it in. </p>
<p>The pain is clouding her vision, her thoughts, her everything. It’s all she can do not to fall to pieces underneath it. Is this what Ben felt like, in his final moments, as he was claimed by the Force?</p>
<p><i>Ben.</i> That thought brings her back to the surface. Still in pain, but able to think. And she pulls herself through it- pushing into the fog, not pulling out. </p>
<p>And there, past it, she finds what she was looking for. A presence so strong it blocks out everything else: the pain, the loneliness, the despair. It’s him. It’s Ben, it’s her Ben.</p>
<p>So she claims with everything she can, dragging it back with her, out of the mirror and into her world. </p>
<p>
  <i>I’m not leaving you behind. Not this time.</i>
</p>
<p>When she finally lets go of it in the Force, finally feels safe to open her eyes, she is standing in front of the mirror again. But the cavern is no longer empty. Ben is there. Ben, clad in pure white, and staring at her as if she is the moon and he is the tide. </p>
<p>She chokes out his name. Well, she thinks she says it; her mind is so overwhelmed, she can’t control herself anymore. Next thing she knows she is wrapped in his arms, and they shake with each others’ sobs. </p>
<p>The sobs turn to laughter: a pure, free laughter, letting go of stress and goodness knows what else. </p>
<p>She pulls back to take in his face. It’s alight with happiness, drinking the sight in. Rey presses her forehead to Bens’, still shaking with both crying and laughter.</p>
<p>Should she kiss him? Suddenly she’s uncertain. After the battle against Palpatine, caught up in the heat of the moment, the kiss felt right. But now she panics. Should she kiss him? Did he want to be kissed? Was he just thanking her, saying good-bye? </p>
<p>In the end, she just buries her head in his shoulder again.</p>
<p>“I missed you,” she chokes out. </p>
<p>He just holds her tighter.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry, but there will be angst and misunderstanding ahead. Still get your HEA soon. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me just preface this by saying: I'm sorry. Angst train up ahead. Don't worry, less angst in the next chapter. Please try to enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maybe she stays holding him for hours. Maybe it’s only a few minutes. Either way, it’s not long enough. She’s not sure it ever will be. </p>
<p>Ben pulls away slowly, still holding Rey close. “Where… how…”</p>
<p>“So much,” she hiccups. “I have <i>so much</i> to tell you.”</p>
<p>“How long has it been… since…”</p>
<p>Right. Time probably hasn’t passed normally for him at all. “Three months.” She knows these three months by the carved notches in the wall of the Lars Homestead, by the weekly messages from her friends reminding her that she can always come back, by every twin sunrise and sunset that she endured alone. “What do you remember?” She thinks of the vision of torture she saw in the mirror on Ach-To. </p>
<p>“You,” he whispers, tangling his hands in her hair. “Just you. Everything else was just like a dream.”</p>
<p>Right now, Rey could drown in his very existence. Every word he says heals some deep-buried wound of hers. It’s a voice she once prayed never to forget, and now never has to. She wants to hear it every day for the rest of her life. </p>
<p>“How did you find me?”</p>
<p>“I had help,” she replies. “From some friends. Come on, let’s get out of here.”</p>
<p>The walk back goes much faster now that she’s not alone. Never alone, never again. </p>
<p>There is so much she needs to tell him, but the adrenaline rush that has carried her this far has crashed, and she barely has the energy to keep her eyes on the path in front of her. They will have plenty of time later. </p>
<p>That’s a concept that is new to Rey. Having <i>time</i> to do what she wants with. She likes it. </p>
<p>Rey pauses just outside the cavern. “I have a lot to explain,” she begins. “But you’re about to go into a time machine that’s bigger on the inside. And meet some odd people whom we should both be very grateful to.”</p>
<p>He recovers his composure remarkably quickly. But Rey knows that Ben Solo is a curious scholar who will gawk at the internal workings of the TARDIS, and study them to oblivion. </p>
<p>“I don’t think you could surprise me anymore right now, darling,” he whispers to her. </p>
<p><i>Darling.</i> She likes the sound of that.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The Doctor tries not to be anxious as she waits for Rey. The girl knows how to handle herself. Still, she’s relieved when she hears a knock on the TARDIS door. </p>
<p>Rey has a radiance about her that blocks out the entire aggressive aura of the planet. Because she’s accompanied by someone who makes her shine like the sun. </p>
<p><i>”Damn,”</i> Jack whispers as Ben enters the ship. The Doctor slaps him on the arm. </p>
<p>“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says. “I’m the Doctor.”</p>
<p>He shakes her hand, and begins staring around the ship in awe. Never gets old. </p>
<p>“It’s alive,” is the first thing he notices. He didn’t say the ‘bigger on the inside’, which Rey may have warned him about (and she’s a little bitter Rey took that), but she can see he admires the TARDIS, he knows how to study a ship. </p>
<p>“She’s very much alive. And very intelligent,” the Doctor replies. “A real beauty.”</p>
<p>“That’s debatable,” Jack replies. After a glare from the Doctor, he amends it to, “But she does what she’s supposed to do.”</p>
<p>“Better than that goofy vortex manipulator of yours,” she snaps back under her breath. “I can tell you all about the ship later. But I’m sure you two have lots to talk about.”</p>
<p>Rey nods. “Definitely. Ben?” She leads him off down to where she sleeps.</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t think we’ll be seeing them again tonight,” Jack remarks. “‘Night, Doctor.”</p>
<p>She nods, realizing that soon she’ll be alone in her big ship with her own thoughts, and not entirely ready for the prospect. “‘Night.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Being alone with Ben, with actual <i>time</i> to just spend together is a novel experience for Rey. She doesn’t really know where to start. It reminds of their time through the Bond when she was on Ach-To, when all they could do was talk. Now, though, they are no longer complicated by their entrapments in rival organizations. </p>
<p>Not that this isn’t complicated. </p>
<p>There is one matter Rey has to address, and it is probably best to do it as soon as possible. It’s as much that she can’t endure the wait to see what Ben will say as anything else. </p>
<p>First, she explains the Doctor, and why she is involved, and what she’s done. Ben knows all about the World Between Worlds, so she doesn’t need to explain that. </p>
<p>They’re happy to be together. But they’re also shy, and awkward, and scared, so perched on opposite sides of the bed. </p>
<p>“Ben?” Rey says finally, steeling herself for this conversation. </p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“I’m pregnant.” </p>
<p>There, the deed is done. For better or for worse, he knows now. </p>
<p>She watches all the color drain from his face just before he cuts off eye contact. “Congratulations,” he says curtly. </p>
<p><i>Oh God, no.</i> Of course he wouldn’t make the connection. They hadn’t… slept together. And now, what does he think? “Ben…”</p>
<p>“No, really. I’m happy for you. This is what you always wanted, isn’t it? A… a family.”</p>
<p>“Ben,” she repeats as he stands up, tears starting to pool in her eyes. “Ben, wait.”</p>
<p>“You should get some rest. We can talk in the morning.”</p>
<p>He walks quickly out the door, leaving sitting, sobbing on the bed.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Of <i>course.</i> </p>
<p>Of course she moved on. </p>
<p>What they had was barely anything. A connection the universe forced them into. Maybe she hadn’t even wanted it, hadn’t even wanted him. Their kiss was simple, quick, and born from the heat of the moment. Maybe it was just a ‘thanks for saving my life’. Nothing more. </p>
<p>So it made sense that she moved on. Fell in love with someone, started a family. There were plenty of people with the Resistance who loved her, and could give her a better life. Was it that pilot, Dameron? Or FN- no, Finn- the ex-stormtrooper?</p>
<p>Either way, she has moved on. She might still feel something for Ben, but nothing more than gratitude and friendship. And Ben knows one thing for certain: he cannot just be friends with Rey. He loves her too much, too strongly. He can disappear to some corner of the galaxy where no one will be harmed and start a new life, begin to repay his debt to the galaxy. </p>
<p>Without Rey.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Am I mocking the make-out session of gratitude? Certainly. Disney deserves it. </p>
<p>Also, I couldn't resist Jack 'observing' Ben. Sorry XD. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ready for the next installment of feels??</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ben.”</p>
<p>He looks slowly up at Rey, and sees pain in her eyes. </p>
<p>“I didn’t explain very well back there.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine. I understand, Rey.”</p>
<p><i>No,</i> he thinks. <i>I don’t understand. I don’t understand at all. I have done horrible things, Rey. Things I can never undo, never forget. But I have always loved you, ceaselessly. We are two inseparable halves, born to be each other’s. I would not begrudge you moving on. Being happy with someone else. But I’m selfish, Rey. I’m so selfish. Did you ever love me? Did you mourn me? Did you feel for me the way I felt for you?</i></p>
<p>“Ben.” A tiny smile cracks across her face. “Ben, you <i>idiot.”</i></p>
<p>The hell is she talking about?</p>
<p>Do you remember, when we were on Exegol-”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to remember Exegol.” Not for anything that happened to him there. That was where he had to watch Rey die. He doesn’t need to think about that. </p>
<p>“Just for a second.”</p>
<p>She kneels cautiously. “You healed me. Saved me.”</p>
<p>He’d given her everything he had left to give, not caring whether he lived or died. Of course he had. </p>
<p>“You chose to give all that to me. But by the end, you weren’t completely in control, were you?”</p>
<p>“No.” He hadn’t been. The Force took over, showed him what he had to do, gave him the strength. </p>
<p>“You gave me a little more than I needed, Ben.” She cups his cheek gently. “You gave me the one thing I always wanted. A family.”</p>
<p>No- she can’t mean- that’s impossible-</p>
<p>Rey laughs through a veil of tears. “The baby is yours, Ben.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>God, she <i>needs</i> it. </p>
<p>She <i>needs</i> the stunned and entranced look on his face as she delivers the news. </p>
<p>She <i>needs</i> the way he surges forward to plant a hungry kiss on her lips, the sweetness mingling with their salty tears. </p>
<p>She <i>needs</i> the way he looks at her as if she is the only star in the galaxy, running his thumb slowly along the curve of her cheekbone. </p>
<p>She <i>needs</i> it when he leans back in to kiss her again, this one slow and more languid, the likes of which they have enjoyed before. </p>
<p>“I love you,” he whispers, close enough for her to feel his breath against her nose. “I have loved you for so long.”</p>
<p>“I love you too.” Is this really the first time they’ve said that? She feels like she’s been thinking it her whole life. “Come inside. Get some sleep.”</p>
<p>They spend a while just curled up together, not sleeping, enjoying each other’s presence and warmth. It satisfies an age-old ache in her heart, to lie down with his arm around her waist and his nose nestled in her hair. It’s peaceful. </p>
<p>“So, a baby,” Ben whispers. </p>
<p>Rey nods. “In six-ish months. I was thinking we could go to Naboo. Leia told me about it. It seems like a nice place.” It’s a strange thrill to be able to plan a future together. </p>
<p>“I went there once, a long time ago, with my mother. You would love it.” His voice goes reminiscent. “There’s lakes. All sorts of flowers. It’s beautiful.” </p>
<p>“I’d go back to Jakku if it meant I got to stay with you.” </p>
<p>“Don’t say that,” he tells her gently. “I would never want you to go back there. Or our baby.”</p>
<p><i>Our baby.</i> It sounds so nice. Beautiful, permanent, a promise. “We can’t go, though. Not just yet.”</p>
<p>He nuzzles her neck gently. “Why not?”</p>
<p>“The woman you met. The Doctor. I think she needs our help.”</p>
<p>“How so?”</p>
<p>“I know when someone’s lost something. I want to help her find it.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Well, I’ll be taking Jack back to Torchwood today, and I suppose you two will want to head back to…?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not just yet, actually,” Rey says. “If you don’t mind, having some company?”</p>
<p>The Doctor puts on that sad smile of hers. “Of course not. If you’re sure you want that. With the baby-”</p>
<p>“We’ll be back in plenty of time for that,” Ben replies. </p>
<p>Rey squeezes his hand gently, appreciating the time they can spend together like this before they have to return to the real world and explain themselves. </p>
<p>“So where’s Jack going?”</p>
<p>“Wales,” he replies chipperly. “On Earth.”</p>
<p>“Earth,” she repeats.</p>
<p>“Planet. In the Milky Way.”</p>
<p>“A galaxy named after milk and a planet named after dirt?” she muses.</p>
<p>“It’s not really <i>dirt</i>,” the Doctor tells her. “It comes out wrong translationally, but for them it has a more romantic meaning. Sort of represents the fertility of soil and- yeah, it’s basically dirt. But good dirt.”</p>
<p>“That’s… odd,” Ben muses. </p>
<p>“I know. Isn’t it wonderful?” The Doctor replies. “Allons-y!” She pauses. “Eugh. Haven’t said that in awhile. Doesn’t sound quite right, does it?”</p>
<p>Jack shakes his head. “Very nice meeting you all. Good luck with- everything. And keep her company.” He points to the Doctor. </p>
<p>“We will,” Rey promises. “Stay safe.”</p>
<p>And with that, the Doctor pulls a lever on the console, spinning them into the unknown.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honestly, if you want a satisfying Reylo ending, you can stop here. It will just be exploring the very complicated dynamic of Doctor/Master- or as I like to call them, Disaster! If you choose to leave here, thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So here's a weak-ass epilogue because I decided I wanted to write a non-sw Doctor/master fic in its own right that will technically be a sequel to this. I'm sorry but I'm a little done with this fic. I hope you enjoyed!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s to say good-bye to Jack, even if she will see him again. He is one of her oldest friends, her closest confidantes. </p>
<p>“Make me a promise,” Jack says as he prepares to go. </p>
<p>“Anything,” the Doctor says. “I mean, within reason.”</p>
<p>“Those two you’ve got with you know,” he says. “They’re wonderful. But they won’t stay long.”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. They certainly won’t. They have their whole lives ahead of them. </p>
<p>“You know what I’m going to say. Don’t travel alone.”</p>
<p>So many have asked her to make this promise. Sooner or later, she has always kept it, but sometimes it has been too late. But there’s a part of her she is about to explore that she does not want anyone to see. </p>
<p>“I’ll try,” she says weakly. </p>
<p>“Don’t try. Just do.”</p>
<p>She nods as her throat closes up. “I’ll see you around.”</p>
<p>He nods as he leaves the TARDIS. “Love ya.”</p>
<p>She is about to go down and rest, have some alone time, when the console begins to beep with an incoming message. </p>
<p>“It’s a distress call,” she realizes as her two passengers emerge. “Someone’s in trouble.” She begins to decipher the contents of it. Gallifreyan? <i>Time Lord.</i></p>
<p>Oh.</p>
<p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p>
<p>Of course, he should be dead. But she’s not naïve enough to believe that. He always finds a way. Every time. </p>
<p>And she always finds him again, somehow, somewhere, sometime. They’re drawn to each other in the most bizarre, inexplicable way, that she hates and craves at the same time. </p>
<p>It feels so achingly <i>human</i>, to have someone you will always come back to sooner or later. </p>
<p>She’s not sure she could bear that. The permanence after aeons of flitting about. It’s why she both fears and lo- feels for him. </p>
<p>“It’s a very old friend of mine,” she mutters, her tone indicating a marked lack of <i>friendliness.</i> “And I need to see him. But-” she looks between the happy, starry-eyed couple. “This is <i>not</i> safe for you.”</p>
<p>“Doctor, we want to help you-” Rey begins</p>
<p>“I can’t subject you to that,” she insists. “He is dangerous. But he’s-” she takes a deep breath. “He’s my risk to take.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know the feeling,” Rey mumbles. “But really- is there any way we can convince you to let us?”</p>
<p>The Doctor shakes her head, already steering the TARDIS to Ajan Kloss. She does her best not to drag out her good-byes, not wanting to prolong the pain. She releases them into the arms of friends and allies, just hearing a shout of “What in the <i>hell</i>, Rey?” before she closes the<br/>door. </p>
<p>“Good luck,” she whispers. Then she turns back to the distress call, listening to it and tracing its source. </p>
<p>She has her own bizarrely bonded soulmate to chase after. </p>
<p>“Brace yourself,” she mutters, to herself, the TARDIS, or the Master she doesn’t know. </p>
<p>Probably all of them. </p>
<p>Certainly the universe.</p>
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